I'm Like Sasquatch...

Everyone hears about me, but no one has seen me. Mostly like Sasquatch, because I did exist at some point in the past. I have been spending the past few days trying to find ME again, the one that has been lost in a haze of working, and taking care of people, and running like the wind through a blinding blizzard of reality.

Well, I left off blogging a VERY long time ago, and that was mostly because I had a terrible case of cabin fever and the birds were singing, the breeze was blowing, and the sun was shining. It was all too much to let pass by while I stayed inside punching out sometimes intelligible words on this box.

I started work at the end of June at a summer camp, supervising in the kitchen. Well, somewhat supervising. My job was more to assist the cook with preparations and to lord my expertise over the heads of Mirek and Maya, my two underlings from across the globe. It didn't take much lording though, for these two were exceptional workers with great ethics, very fast learners to boot. It made my life much easier this summer than previous years, but it was still pretty hectic.

I had to arrive at work by 6 a.m. to help with preparations, serve up the food, then clean up after the children had left the dining room. Most often, we had trucks delivering supplies twice a week, and we had to unload them and put things where they belonged. Sweeping, chopping, stirring, waitressing... to say that I couldn't wait to leave there was the biggest understatement of the year.

I keep in touch with Maya and Mirek, for they had huge hearts and we spent a lot of time together on their days off. I have photos of both of them from when they came and stayed here overnight, and might post them sometime in the future.

We purchased a Wii mid-summer, and a Wii-Fitness to go with it for me. I spent every work break I had and days off on that thing. Gave up soda, cut back on junk food, changed the sizes of my portions. Losing 28 pounds was more than worth it for me, and I'm really glad that we made the investment.

If you will recall, there are pictures of me posted in certain spots on my blog. Pics of me with long hair. That was taken care of my first week at work when I cut it off to a long pixie version. By the end of summer, I had enough of the look.

With September ending, I really hacked it all off. Seriously all off. My hair is now a very short cut (the kind that is supposed to flip up in the back but I really don't care for it). Today, I went and had it touched up a bit and dyed. I'm still trying to figure out just what color my hair was changed to. Lol, not really. It is still a basic brown with thick golden highlights. It's not bad, and not far off from what I have been wearing since September.

I stopped working on August 26th, and we took the rugrats to Darien Lake for an overnight stay. They loved it, even if it did rain quite a bit while we were there and tent camping. Toad overcame some of his fears, and we found out that Princess is the biggest daredevil of us all. She was royally pissed when they told her she was too short for most of the thrilling rides.

I had roughly 5 days off total from work when I started babysitting 4 children for a friend. I drove 28 miles one way, pretty much 5 days a week, until October hit. The pay was okay, and the children weren't too hyper, unless I brought Buckwheat with me. For some reason, Buckwheat has determined that he couldn't get along with these children, leaving me with 4 screaming children most days while working with a newborn. So when I stopped babysitting in early October, I was mostly relieved. I could finally go back to wasting my days at the computer and be my miserable cave dwelling self again.

I received a call about a week and a half after stopping the babysitting by my friend, asking me to give her a hand for 2 days while her husband worked because she was ill. I went back to babysitting on a Thursday, and was thinking on Friday when I left that it was over for good.

I called my friend's hubby on that Saturday to ask if we were still able to get a dishwasher from them, and while that conversation was the intent of the call, I found out some other stuff that led me to call him back later that night for an update.

That call sealed my fate, for he asked me to come and sit with the guys while he tended to business. T-Bone went along with me, since it was night driving that I don't get along with, and we arrived just before 9 in the evening. We didn't get back home until 3:45 in the morning on Sunday. It was exhausting, but easy, since all of the children were in bed, including mine. The baby awoke occasionally, but it wasn't for long.

On that Sunday, he updated me fully and said that he was in a jam for a babysitter. Honestly, at that time, we needed the money. T-Bone's employer was curtailing every 4 days out of 14, which was leaving him shy a whole week's paycheck half the time. So I agreed, and showed up so he could go to work on that Monday.

I'm not going to go into details, it's not my place. I will say that I was there for a full month again before deciding that my time had come to make my exit. I did wind up quitting a day ahead of time, but for just cause. T-Bone played a huge part in it, and although I defy my husband a lot (his opinions are usually half-hearted suggestions anyway), this time I saw his point. His position at work could be in jeopardy over some events, and to me, his job was more important than the other guy's. Rude, I know. But, I have to be honest and get it off my chest, and I think that trying to get it out without mentioning vital things will make me feel better.

I miss the kids that I babysat for, and I honestly thought that I wouldn't. Firstly, they aren't my children. I don't bond with children that aren't mine, never really have, and never really will. But for some bizarre reason, even if I didn't bond in my sense, I did spend a lot of time with those children and that's hard to get rid of, bonded or not. I miss the baby sitting on my lap, her head resting in the crook of my knee while her feet pushed at my belly, cooing like crazy and waving her fists in the air. I miss the 2 year old guy and the way he always said "Not yet!", or the way that he would lay his head on my shoulder when I removed him from his crib in the morning and when putting him down for a nap. I miss their oldest daughter, and the look she always gave when she knew she was caught doing something that I was trying to get her out of the habit of. She liked to sneak into the refrigerator or take food and drinks from the cupboard without asking, usually making a huge mess if the deed was done quietly. I tried to instill in her that if she's hungry, just ask. If I say "no", it's probably for a reason. Not a proper food for the time of day, it was junk food, meal time was coming, etc. Especially, I miss the oldest child. Even though he could be a handful, it all seemed to go away when he willingly reached up to grab my hand when I would take him to school or pick him up. Or, when he would climb up on the couch with me in the late afternoon and sit there with his head on my arm while he watched T.V.

I'm not quite sure what this blog post was about to begin with, it really all came out in a haze and I'm sure that it doesn't follow any proper kind of flow. It's just a jumbled mess, much like my life has been since late Spring. There are so many things I want to say, and I know that I shouldn't. So many things I want to let people know that I experienced and felt, and I can't. So many things that were driving me to the brinks of depression on a daily basis, making me struggle to hold onto it all for the sake of not only my family, but someone else's too. I want to let other people know that I held on for the sake of their family too, and that I don't feel properly thanked. Those people can take it as they may, but if they really, really, thought about it, they too would realize that I went above and beyond to try to be a true friend by putting my life on hold, and by guiding their children. I don't want to be special, I don't want a medal, I don't want praise. I want to go back to that place where I'm not just THE BABYSITTER, which is what I became, and quickly. I was no longer a friend, a confidante, a shoulder to cry on. I was a functioning maid, and well, I guess since I was getting paid in cash that the money should be enough to fix my wounded ego.

I can honestly say that if this post is read, and offends anyone, it's for good reason. There is NOTHING bad in here about anyone, no names, no references, no innuendos. Just wounded feelings, and I'm sure that this will let me know just what level I was at.

Netflix, anyone?

If anyone out there is looking to try Netflix for the first time, let me know and I will gladly offer you a One Month Free Trial Card!!!

I have four of them, and would love to share the joys of Netflix with others who love movies as much as we do.

The only hang up, is that you will need a credit/debit card in order to sign up an account. Let me guarantee you that we originally went with a 10 day free trial, and I was uber worried about giving them access to my bank account through a debit card.

Turns out, that I had nothing to fear! They never even attempted to start my first payment until the 11th day, when I verified that I would like to continue being a customer by queuing up more movies.

Others I have spoken with about Netflix have voiced many concerns, the top one being primarily the condition of the discs that we receive. Never. A. Problem.

These discs have always come to me completely immaculate, and have NEVER skipped. And I have received over 60 movies from them in 5 months.

The plan that we use allows us 3 discs at a time, unlimited. Meaning, that I literally have the potential to get around 30 discs a month, depending on how quick I am to return them. Try getting THAT many movies from a rental store for $18.01 a month!

Anyway, if you would like to try it, please let me know. Like I said, I have 4 cards, and I would gladly share my favorite place to get movies with you for free for one month!!

Just drop me a comment if interested, with your e-mail address. Or e-mail me. No biggie!

Laugh, I Thought I Would Die!

Had a grand old time finding some funnies on the net.. these ones had me rollin' rollin' rollin' rollin'!

pioneeringinpa.blogspot.com

WANTED FOR THE FRIGHTFUL TORTURE of a RUTHLESS REDNECK

$13700

What's Your Blog Wanted For?

Oh. My. Word. I so cannot believe that they referred to T-Bone as a RUTHLESS REDNECK!! I mean, really. Who else could they have been referring to? The frightful torture part though, is bang on baby. ;)

23

Quite, immoral. Yes. Totally wrong. Borderline child abuse come to mind? Hellz yeah to all of the above. But admit it guys, we all need to be prepared for when the world is overcome with 5 year old zombies. I can take on 23 of them. Hope you guys got the rest.

$3865.00The Cadaver Calculator - Find out how much your body is worth.

T-Bone, keep this page bookmarked for proof when I bite the big one, start pushing up daisies, take a dirt nap. That way those scum suckers in the cadaver section that you are trying to hock my body to don't try to rip you off. See? I think about you honey!

62%

Ok, so I was prepared to "got your backs" with the 5 year olds. Not so much with the zombies. Seems that my aversion to creepy non-living things puts me at a great setback. I think my biggest downfall would come when T-Bone and I stopped running like madmen to pull a Shawn of the Dead. Oh yes, we would.

Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na. (picture T-Bone and I chanting this while a zombie creeps up on us, then pausing...) And, I can guarantee that our asses are getting snagged by that zombie if he fails to respond appropriately, because we will stand there like two sitting ducks waiting for it.... *insert deadly zombie groan here*

Anyway, just wanted to do a quick post-by! YAY!!

Q & A, Hooray!

Alright guys, I've been a bad blogger (as you all know) so those who dropped by were so surprised that I posted anything new at all, that most of you failed to leave a question! That's alright, I have a few of them to answer, and I will add a few from an e-mail that I received from a buddy yesterday.

So sit back, relax, and enjoy!

#1. If you had three wishes, what would they be? No wishing for money, love, or changing of past events.

This is a tough one, considering that most of my wishes normally stem from wanting to change something in the past, or for money to ease my burdens. But, I'm going to take an honest stab at it!

My first wish would be to live forever. Honestly. I fear death, mostly the not being here anymore is what scares me the most. I also fear that my loved ones will no longer have me here with them, and that I will miss out on special moments in their lives.

Second wish, to have a week long vacation in the Caribbean. I long to see the perfect blue of the waters, and would love to laze around on the beaches.

And third? I wish that I had the ambition to successfully lose the extra weight that I carry around. I know how to do it, I just can't seem to get the motivation to be successful at it.

#2. If you could change one thing that has happened to you in the past, what would it be? Why?

This is one of those questions that leaves me wishing for more wiggle room. I think, that to change it all, I wish that I had remained single when I was younger, which would have unlocked a whole chain of different courses in my life. I would have remained in school, gone to college, found a successful job, and probably wouldn't be where I am today. Although, oddly enough, I was thinking about this one last night as I soaked in the tub. The problem with wanting to go back and make that specific change, would be, obviously, that I wouldn't have my children, and I most generally wouldn't be with T-Bone today. THAT is one thing I would never change though, so I'm not so sure that even if I could change that part of my past, that I would. It took a long and precarious journey, with a ton of heartaches, to land me where I am today.

#3. If you could eat only one food for the rest of your life... what would it be?

Ahhh. This is one that hangs me up. As much as I love certain foods, I would never want to eat only that for the rest of my life. But, since I obviously have to answer, I would want it to be lasagna.

#4. If you were on Survivor or a similar show, what is the one thing that would send you home? What would you be unable to do?

It would be one of two things. Anything to do with heights, or anything to do with snakes. I get extremely paralyzed even going up a ladder, so I would never be able to conquer that fear. I have had to talk myself out of stupid little heights before, and I always hated the feeling of having my body frozen in fear. The second, snakes, would definitely send me home. My fear is so enormous, that I can't even handle dead snakes, stupid little run of the mill dead snakes in the road. My childhood friend knew how much I hated them, and when we were out on our walks she would pick the dead snakes up with a stick and chase me with them. Thank goodness I could run faster than her!

#5. What is one talent that you wished you had? Is it something you can learn or is it something you have to be born with?

I truly wish that I could paint. I'm talking, Rembrandt style. Or Picasso. I have always admired their talent, and wish that I could have it also. I think that I could learn it to a certain extent, most certainly. But to have the amount of talent that those guys had? You have to be born with it.

#6. What is your favorite way to spend a hot, lazy summer day?

With my family. On the beach, without a care in the world. Plenty of sunblock for the kiddies, a vast picnic spread, and a ton of fun in the sun. I love lazy summer days!

#7. If there was on trait that your exes had, and your hubby doesn't, and you wish he had it, what would it be?

Gee T-Bone, nothing like trying to hang yourself lol. We have discussed this one before, so it isn't anything that hasn't been brought up, or would be totally new to you. I guess that trait would have belonged to my ex-husband. He woke with the sun, hopped out of bed, got dressed, and hit the day. He wasn't one to laze around. I admire that you never seem in a hurry, but sometimes I wish that I didn't have to ask you to do things. But, you know this already. You have all the traits that I need to be a happy person, and obviously, my exes didn't. But I wouldn't mind if you took the reigns for a while, and made decisions for us. Like, plan a day for you and I where I don't have a single decision to make at all. I would absolutely love that!

#8. What's one trait that you dislike about yourself?

I hate that I look like my mother. I really do. Not that I don't think she has admirable looks or anything, but gosh.. I know where I'm headed in 20 years and really would have preferred for it to be a surprise!

#9. Worst injury you have ever had?

I broke my leg when I was 12. I slipped off a diving board, and landed really hard with my leg on the board itself. It hurt, but the worst part was not realizing it was broke, and going to climb up a ladder with that leg to get out of the pool. My stomach is just rolling thinking about it!

#10. What song do you want played at your funeral?

I would definitely vote for Life is Beautiful by Sixx AM. That song is truly, truly, a work in itself, and says everything that I won't be able to when I'm gone.



So, there's a bit about me. I will try to get pics off my camera soon, which will leave me with a lengthy post about them!

BAAAAAADDDD Blogger

Yup, that be me. Between having no ambition, having too much ambition, having too much time on my hands, and having no time on my hands, I have managed to abandon my blogging duties.

But, I'm here. Momentarily. I can make no promises as to how long I will be here.

Alas, I shall give you some updates on what I have been doing.

I have managed to burn my skin not once, or twice, but at least four times in the past 2-3 weeks. I thought I would be uber cool and head outside in a black thin strapped tank top. I burned. Not a problem. Hubby mentioned that he found bikini top tan lines to be sexy. Uh huh. He mentioned it. So, I donned a bikini top, and headed for the yard. Right after already being burned once on my chest with that little black top. I burned. Again. I think my brains were on vacation that day. My left mammary is now purple in one spot where TOO much sun got to it. I'm hoping it will return to normal. I don't think I can live for the rest of my days with a purple splotch on my boob.

We did go to the circus. It was a very small affair. They had Shetland ponies, some dogs, and a snake. That was the end of the animals. They also had a juggler (he even juggled fire sticks), a contortionist, a lady on a trapeze, and a not so funny clown. It was an OK dig, but I think I could have found better things to do with my time that night.

I do have pics, they are still on my camera. As soon as I feel the need to bog down my computer, I will offload them. Or upload them. Or download them. I can't decide which I will be doing. But it will get done, eventually.

We have been spending a lot of time partying. Birthday parties, dinner parties, parties, parties... PARTIES! And I am looking at a few more coming up.

As it stands, my weekend for May 23rd thru the 26th is going to be so filled up that I won't know what to do with myself. The 24th? I have a financial class to go to, nearly 2 hours away. It lasts for 4 freakin' hours. But, I really do have to go to it. Which puts a huge damper on a weekend long Memorial party at a friend's. So, in between that class, I will be popping in for that party. Plus, the annual Canoe Regatta is that weekend, and I HAVE to take the kiddies to THAT. I'm exhausted just thinking of that weekend.

We are having a summer kick-off party here on June 7th, so I've been busy with mental plans for that.

I have been baking, and cooking, and reading. Tons of fun going on round here!

Decided to do a Q&A session. Post your questions, and I will answer them in a separate post!

Spring Has Sprung

Which always makes me a very busy woman. I spend approximately 5 months out of my year holed up in my house because the weather absolutely sucks. So, when Spring does its thing, and finally... springs... I'm hell bent for some fresh air and then some.

So, where were we? Ahh, yes. My car broke down, days before we were to buy a new one. Miraculous in itself that I could afford one, and even more amazement given the fact that the car came from T-Bone's sister, which allowed us to borrow it to make it out to our car to get it home after it was repaired.

On Thursday, we brought our new car home. We spent a lot of time cleaning it out, it was supposed to be vacuumed before we picked it up, but it wasn't. So, my vacuum was allowed a very rare sugar high from all of the Nerd's® that it sucked up from the floor in the back.It took a lot of talking, scolding, and reprimanding before my vacuum calmed down enough for me to put it away for the night. I think it still holds some resentment for me.

Alright, it's time to bring on the car pics. We bought our blue Intrepid almost a year ago, for $400. It was running on 2 cylinders instead of 6, was blowing oil, and needed tires. Did I mention that it had extensive body damage? Extensive to the point that the hood was replaced, and it didn't match the car. White hood, blue car.. hmmm.. methinks someone was a tad color blind when they did that repair.

We needed a car badly, so we took it. It cost nearly $200 to get the cylinders back to 6, and for the oil to stop blowing. We replaced the tires. Since then, we have put a lot of money into that car. New rear struts on both sides (plus 2 new tires when the struts went and ruined the tires, both at separate times), a water pump, a radiator, and basic repairs. I was so tired of this car that it was pathetic. Plus, it just didn't match my ensemble on any given day. Blue and white is a hard thing for me to pull off.

So, let's say a hearty goodbye to Porkchop's old car (aka T-Bone's new work only car), and pray that she never has to drive through town again and have people mistakenly wave at her car, thinking she is someone else. Because, you know, so many people in our town drive a blue Intrepid with a white hood and a rescue light on the top. Really, I've had people wave to it, then lie to someone else and say it wasn't them. Hmm.. looks like [unnamed], stands like [unnamed], and [unnamed] waved at my car. While he was standing on the street with a girl who wasn't his woman. Just sayin', there was no way that I could be mistaken.

Sorry, getting sidetracked lol. Drumroll please....I present to you, old blue Intrepid with white hood, fender damage, and one mismatched hub cap. The back tire was a spare, so the matching rim is in the trunk with a flat on it. Hmm.. talk about us being prepared. We don't even have a spare tire in that car. Could be why I'm left on the side of the road sometimes. And yes, we live in the sticks, so the tires are always caked in mud. Gives it a decidedly rugged look, yes?

Alas, on to my new car. My baby. My car that wouldn't allow the front windows to roll down without them falling off the track. The car that T-Bone spent 4 hours working on the other day to fix those windows, just for the driver's side to fall off the track again last night. No biggie, fixable in the future. Are you ready to see my new car?
Oh, what's that? I forgot to mention that I bought yet another Intrepid? My bad. I did. We now have 2 Intrepid's. Very nice cars, and I love the way they drive. Mine is 3 years newer than the blue one.

After we cleaned it all out, T-Bone jokingly suggested that he could let me use something that he has had in the package since he received them as a gift years ago. An object that he refused to use because he never felt right about his vehicles, so they therefore, weren't worthy of it. He went looking for said item, and couldn't find it. I, on the other hand, knew exactly where it was, and rescued it from Buckwheat's closet immediately.

Ready to see what T-Bone looks like when he is "letting go" of something? Be prepared, it's a sad sight.
The poor guy. I almost didn't have the heart to allow him to bestow his "gift" upon my car. Then again, who am I kidding? I'm me, and I'm spoiled, and selfish, and.. and.. well.. you get the point.
So, I did what any good, self-respecting wife would do. I promised him "adult favors" stroked his ego and told him how unworthy I was of him. See the smile? He lusts loves me.

There they are. His pride and joy. His "not worthy of any other vehicle I ever owned no matter what I paid for it" Trans-Formers floor mats. And those bad boys are now mine all mine.
See? They were made for each other!

Now that I've updated you all on where I've been, here's where I will be tonight.

At the circus! I will take plenty of pics, and promise to post them shortly!

It's Raining, It's Pouring, & A Winner!

Okay, I think I've made enough apologies for being MIA that I can skip it this time. I have had tons of reasons for not being here, but more about that later!

As you can see, here is my scale with my ass on it. Well, not just my ass, but all of me!! And yes, that does say 238 for those who can't see it clearly. So, we have a winner who was 8 pounds off. Asthmagirl, send me an e-mail and give me some details (like, do you even have a Target near you, because I can opt for a different gift card). Congratulations! The others had me wondering just what on earth it would feel like to weigh their guesses (like 179 lbs. by Hallie) and I'm pretty sure that Debbie guessed lower! Thanks for the participation, the first contest went over without a hitch. Almost.

On to the next portion of our program. We did the Easter scene with the runts, but it went over really choppy. They received their bikes on Saturday in spurts, since Princess decided to stay the night at her aunt's and not come home until mid-afternoon. They enjoyed them!

We had a nice spaghetti dinner that night, with leftovers for lunch on Sunday. We made Beezlenut Splashes (stolen from IHop) to go with their lunch. It's just Sprite soda, with cubes of Jell-o in it served in a clear glass. Here's a pic of my Beezlenut Splash tower!After lunch, we dropped in to my sister's to rescue another child that had spent the night. We returned home, finally gave them their Easter Baskets, then geared up to take them home. Uneventful, right?

Wrong. So wrong. About 5 miles outside of one of our drop off spots, we noticed steam escaping from the hood of the car. The temperature gauge was where it always is, so we plunged ahead. More steam, and 1 mile from our destination the gauge shot up towards the red line for hot. We made it to where we wanted to be, with the car steaming like a fire breathing dragon.
This pic is mild. Our car was literally engulfed in steam. Turns out that the seams in our radiator chose that precise moment to burst. There was no way to get the car home without a new radiator.

I tried to call my sister, and after an hour managed to get ahold of her. Meanwhile, I was regaled with the ex-MIL and ex-grandmother-in-law at their house. Watching a National Geographic channel soft porn episode. Really, I didn't care to see little Africans with penis gourds bouncing across the screen while sitting next to my exes.

My sister finally answered her call, and it turned out she was less than 10 miles away! YAY! So, her and her hubby showed up, he tried some stop leak in the radiator, but it wasn't holding. We headed home defeated.

Thankfully, we had made arrangements to buy a new car the week before. The money was in the mail to pay for it, and T-Bone's sister (who we were buying the car from) graciously let us use it. T-Bone made it to work on Monday, for a bit.

My sister called just before noon to let me know that her hubby was in a salvage center ripping a radiator out of another vehicle for our car. In the pouring rain. So I called T-Bone at work, so he could leave and meet her hubby at our car to help put it in. He had to finish up what he was working on first, so we arrived at our destination just before 2.

To find my sister and her hubby sitting in their vehicle. We geared up for a radiator installation, praying that it would work. Too late! He had managed to install it already, and was getting ready to leave.

So, T-Bone headed out with our car, I followed in the car we were buying, and my sister was close behind. We made it home without further incident.

A quick recap. Weight winner, Asthmagirl. Broken car? Pain in the ass. Making plans to buy a different car mere days before the current one breaks down? An upside. Having a sister-in-law who will let us borrow that car without having cash in hand? A lifesaver!!